EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL.

2009-05-26T02:00:00.003-04:00

find happiness and cling to it like a lover. carry it around like a good dream from the night before. suckle it like a newborn. tend to it like a garden and watch it grow. bite it in your teeth until its bursts and stains your lips. look for it in every morning, in every pillow, every smile, and every kiss. pull it from the roots and keep it somewhere safe. somewhere deep and hallowed and special. somewhere even you dont know how to reach. be selfish with it. write your name on it. it is yours and so am i.

if a tree falls and no one is around.

2009-03-23T18:40:00.006-04:00

i imagine trees feel like this when they fall. it was the slowest crashing, knowing my roots couldnt hold me. knowing you couldnt hold me. knowing all our days were fading down the street in a parade of broken cymbals and tuneless trombones. i stopped to listen to the song of our different heartbeats. drowned by the sound of me hitting the ground.

lets talk about spaceships or anything except you and me.

2009-03-12T20:22:00.008-04:00

last night we got a top-secret tour of the lowell observatory (where pluto was discovered.) i got to see saturn through a giant telescope, learned that the earth will tear itself apart in about 3 billion years, and got a glow-in-the-dark constellation shirt. i have never felt so tiny, and insignificant, and happy.

ocean sky and seafoam clouds.

2009-03-09T21:01:00.003-04:00

east of eden.

2009-03-03T13:00:00.002-05:00

"When a man says he does not want to speak of something he usually means he can think of nothing else."
"Maybe it's that. She's all mixed up with the dullness, and I can't remember much except the last picture drawn in fire."
"You've given it a lot of thought," said Samuel.
"I've had lots of time for it. I want to ask you something. I can't remember behind the last ugly thing. Was she very beautiful, Samuel?"
"To you she was because you built her. I don't think you ever saw her- only your own creation."
Adam mused aloud, "I wonder who she was- what she was. I was content not to know.
He looked up for a moment and then back at the ground. "There's a crashing in my head," he said. "Like sounds you hear under water. I'm having to dig myself out of a year."

girl in the snow, where will you go?

2009-03-02T01:17:00.003-05:00

some ghosts sink.

2009-02-20T11:26:00.002-05:00

i wish i had two paths i could follow.

2009-02-18T01:53:00.006-05:00

i have loved books, for
even books have spines. but
you are a crooked creature.

A sacred night, where we'll watch the fireworks.

2009-02-14T00:42:00.001-05:00

all at once.

2009-02-13T00:38:00.003-05:00

w hen i woke up . o ur no ses w ere to uchi nng. a nd i
didn t feel a t hi ng. but t he s u n.
an d the shi ning was reas sur ing . w hen i w oke up.
a nd you we rent there a nymor e.

moonlight on my floor.

2009-02-07T13:25:00.004-05:00

you are apples and i am tangerines.

2009-02-06T10:39:00.003-05:00

home is where beds are made.

2009-02-05T20:45:00.003-05:00

lie down with me.

2009-01-27T13:12:00.005-05:00

i was born in places like this. where the trees stretch out like arms to embrace me. and the stomach aches peel off me like bark.

my impure hair.

2009-01-25T01:41:00.006-05:00

have you ever felt the bump on the back of my head? i keep it hiding under my hair. i dont let anyone get too close because they might find it.it could be a birthmark. or mole. or a scar. or cancer. but it is easy to ignore the things you cannot see. maybe my whole house is burning down behind me and i choose not to notice. maybe you are kissing your boyfriend tonight.either way i think you have felt that bump. maybe once. we were lying in bed. and i was letting you get too close to me. your fingers were swimming through my hair. they read the bump like braille. and suddenly i felt naked with all my clothes on. like you were opening a letter i had written but never sent. i thought about cancer. and my house in ashes. and then. you kissed me.

wake up smiling.

2009-01-24T01:46:00.005-05:00

mornings that wake you up like lovers. big streams of sunlight like naked arms wrapping all around you. like exploding ants caught in a fireplace. crackling across your skin in a smokeyhazey slumber. up your neck and in your mouth. until the shirt is off. until the day has started. bright existence shining a hole through your window.

it hits you all at once.

2009-01-22T23:06:00.000-05:00

no one does it like you.

2009-01-15T01:36:00.011-05:00

i miss your unbreakable
skin /the s mell ofyour mout h/ the soles ofyour f
eet .

its always good to see you again.

2009-01-13T18:24:00.005-05:00

this is my second roll of diana film from exactly a year ago. these are pictures in charlotte: when we snuck into the old abandoned house and we all shared cigars and i met sully for the first time.

there is no modern romance

2009-01-12T23:50:00.000-05:00

i thought about the earth
and its lack of sympathy. and
i wished it would
talk to me. and
i wished it would
tell me
how to
never
die.

but it did
not answer. even
though i put my mouth to the ground. even
though i screamed at the gravity.
or the forces. or whatever
holds me. when no one is holding
me. and no one is holding
me. except for this world.

i dont know what i have become.

2009-01-07T19:07:00.001-05:00

ive felt a heart before.

2009-01-04T07:51:00.011-05:00

it was all wrong in its own way. but nothing else felt right to begin with.

a pair of dull scissors and the yellow light.

2009-01-03T18:26:00.004-05:00

today i cut my little sisters hair. everything is growing and moving so quickly.

dont forget what you felt.

2009-01-03T02:19:00.005-05:00

shining my way.

2009-01-02T13:14:00.007-05:00

a sudden moment of childhood. back when you could lose yourself in grass and feel the secret world of insects churning below your body. when clouds moved while the earth stood still, and the sky hurt you with its huge simplicity. when every unreadable street sign was a mystery and the smell of every different season could make your mind wander and stumble and fall like leaves. your head would ache with the knowledge of growing and the whole planet would stop to marvel at your latest discovery: heartshaped acorns, galactic glass marbles, and one clover that possibly has more than three leaves.
waking up all wrapped around you this morning.i felt this feelingalloveragain.

today we built a fort:

2008-12-31T02:49:00.001-05:00

ghost moves.

2008-12-29T10:09:00.010-05:00

i like ghosting around your room while you sleep, with my head spread out like the clothes on the floor. moving like the wind. because wind does not cry or hurt or regret. it is aimless and proud and free. and even when you cant see it, it always has the potential to knock you off your feet. to leave you dizzy and nosestung, with watery eyes like puddles. to blow you away and leave nothing but the sound of movement.

merry christmas.

2008-12-26T01:05:00.003-05:00

i only went to church because i had a scandalous new dress.

2008-12-25T02:02:00.007-05:00

tonight i realized ive always wanted to play the hand bells in a church service. i also realized that this cannot happen because i kinda stopped believing in god. i guess thats my punishment.

on a lighter note, there is nothing like having a tone-deaf woman screaming every hymn directly into your ear during a fancy christmas eve service. i have never had to suppress so much laughter in my entire life. i was a complete noodle basket.

the breakfast club.

2008-12-23T11:16:00.001-05:00

i know i know i know.

2008-12-21T11:53:00.001-05:00

ive never been good at watching things end. whether its the heat, or my heart, or the whole year altogether.

will i follow you home again?

2008-12-21T03:32:00.004-05:00

some things last a long time.

2008-12-20T16:46:00.007-05:00

cranium might be the longest/most ridiculous/dramatic game ever.

brynn and emily stole my camera and left me a present.

stayed up until 4 burning every stick of wood in the plummer's yard.

and i thought you were the moon in the sky.

2008-12-19T04:49:00.004-05:00

4:31am: something to live for.

let's go on pretending.

2008-12-18T01:35:00.004-05:00

theres a safety in waking up on the street where you were born. knowing some cars pass your house every day. that you are a part of the scenery. and that if you disappeared, a piece of it all would be missing.

and i stood in my house

2008-12-16T23:19:00.001-05:00

today i learned how to walk on stilts:

2008-12-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

o, morning without warning like a hole.

2008-12-13T19:11:00.003-05:00

things i did when i was dead.

2008-12-12T16:02:00.003-05:00

greg took me to this great place called "nowhere". id always heard of it as being a great place to do coke. but apparently its also a fun place to freeboard:

i have so many emotions right now. and all of them are really good, believe it or not. ive never realized how strong living on my own has made me. i refuse to be anything but grateful and excited for the future.

and ill be curled on the floor.

2008-12-12T10:41:00.003-05:00

the ladies.

2008-12-09T00:43:00.003-05:00

ladies and gentlemen,

2008-12-08T20:54:00.002-05:00

i got into college...again!

good morning sun.

2008-12-08T09:34:00.009-05:00

last night i got so scared, i almost bolted. the size of the room and the size of my hands and the size of my heart all seemed so small compared to the rest of the world.

i thought about the animals outside and i envied them for their simplicity. i wanted to lie close to the ground. i wanted to blend in with the leaves; to know the patterns of the rainclouds and the height of the grass and the breath of the wind. to be naked and covered by the coat of my own skin.

i pressed my face against the window and watched the air leave my body. it floated somewhere soft and free. it floated far away from me.

wish you could see what i see.

2008-12-07T05:36:00.004-05:00

lately:

2008-12-06T15:43:00.006-05:00

shirts by cali dewitt

books by christoph senn

illustrations and music by chad vangaalen

anything by talkdemonic

started good.

2008-12-06T11:58:00.004-05:00

these rocks dont care if i live or die.

2008-12-05T13:00:00.008-05:00

collapsing like a folding chair.

flyin' solo.

2008-12-03T19:54:00.005-05:00

dear god. i am becoming one of those girls who stays in her room all day, listening to classical music and taking pictures of her goldfish.

i think my lack of social interaction is making me a little bit ridiculous. for instance, i have to turn in an "art math" project for an exam grade...and i drew CAT TESSELLATIONS? on a sheet of computer paper? with my roommate's felt markers?

i think everything is pretty laughable right now. i might not even be accepted into a college next semester. but for some reason, it just doesnt phase me. im at the point where nothing can really touch me. i microwave my soup and make my tea. i listen to beethoven and feel like a completely soppy romantic. i dont feel alone anymore at all.

these are the kind of things that either give someone an epiphany or a nervous breakdown. but me? i just draw wonky cats and watch PBS documentaries on baby pandas.

if i can deal with myself, i can deal with anything.

oh goddammit.

2008-12-02T16:31:00.001-05:00

~~its days like this that make me wish i could just be samantha ronson~~
this is the most embarassing blog entry ever.

idk.

2008-12-01T12:14:00.006-05:00

if i find another box of my roommate's condoms within the vicinity of my bed, im gonna...

i dont know yet. but seriously. you dont need to drop subliminal hints that you get to have sex. i am painfully aware.

i want to go home.

2008-11-30T17:28:00.009-05:00

the sidewalks all snowsoaked and miserable; my muscles are the strings of dissonant violins. and with every step, the sound grows louder: the sound of distance, like waves and bombs and car alarms. things that leave you shaking. things that tell you to just lie down.

and the fog hits me like a blanket. so i plan on sleeping until they find me. wrapped up in the layers of what i used to be.

i felt your shape and heard your breathing.

2008-11-30T05:49:00.004-05:00

all the days stretched out like trees. lost in the roots of your hair, i felt my heartbeat growing. felt all your leaves falling off on the bed. and i kept a piece of your skin just to remember.

ghost ride the whip.

2008-11-28T03:21:00.004-05:00

if you ever make a mess.

2008-11-27T10:50:00.008-05:00

happy thanksgiving//i know what im thankful for.

i woke up dreaming.

2008-11-26T02:33:00.005-05:00

and suddenly i remembered exactly where i belong.

a star pierced right through the thick of me.

2008-11-25T04:11:00.008-05:00

its the kind of hope that feels like staring straight into the sun. the kind that makes you blink and see little spots, even when your eyes are closed. Hope that catches your tongue and makes you stutter and wrestle with teeth that dont even feel like your own anymore.

trying hard to swallow and smile and breathe and move and be. its the kind of hope that makes it hard to do anything.

chaos.

2008-11-22T02:07:00.006-05:00

the magic died quickly.

whos house is this?
and when can i go home?

I'm thinking hard about all the things I've been dreaming.

2008-11-20T14:56:00.001-05:00

i laugh more often now, i cry more often now.

2008-11-19T20:13:00.005-05:00

i have done the best that i can. nothing more and nothing less.

people look at me like im crazy when i tell them im transferring. theyre so comfortable and happy, they cant imagine anyone not being on their level. but im not afraid anymore. in fact, for the first time since ive lived here, i am happy. simply because i know that i get to go home in one month.

but i am not homesick anymore, i am just excited for the future. im starting to feel myself breathing again. im remembering the magic of being me. its cheesy and its hopeful and its the best ive felt in so long.

i did not give up. i did not fail. if anything i learned a lot about myself. and even if it was miserable, im better off for it.

counting down the days. i have nothing but happiness to give when i get back.

p.s. whats with this whole "stick it out" philosophy? everyone keeps telling me to "wait around, you'll learn to love it."

you learn to love a bad sweater your grandmother gives you, not the place you have to live in for 4 years. why do people think staying in a place you dont like makes you mature?

AWHHHELLLNAWWW.

circus days?

2008-11-18T17:31:00.005-05:00

today i found this miscellaneous plate of cheddar popcorn sitting on the front desk of my dorm building. it seems very important, but no one knows what to do with it. in the meantime, my hallway is starting to smell like a circus.

in other news, today a parade of children marched by my "21st century health careers" class. they were all carrying unicycles and they seemed really excited.

i dont know which is funnier: that or the fact that i am enrolled in a health careers class in the first place.

skinny love.

2008-11-16T19:39:00.002-05:00

home again.

2008-11-15T16:00:00.003-05:00

things i have enjoyed so far:

-watching matilda
-charissa's sleep talking/cuddling
-trying on lingerie
-britney spears/lil wayne sing-a-longs
-storm/broody/cloudy/windy weather
-remembering the way everything was exactly a year ago.

the fog burned off and finally i felt near.

2008-11-14T21:23:00.003-05:00

we got caught in a terrible/beautiful "fog storm" on the way to greensboro. it felt like the whole sky fell on us in a matter of seconds. theres nothing like drving 65 mph down a mountain when you cant see more than 5 feet in front of you:

then we somehow ended up in winston salem. i tried to drive stick and nearly ruined a miscellaneous car:
now im sitting with my parents in our living room. my moms band is being featured on npr. i feel very detached. and they are arguing.

i wonder if i can really live here.

agnostic christianity.

2008-11-14T01:52:00.007-05:00

heart-to-hearts with amber:

afterwards, a bunch of us went to the dragtastic drag show on campus:

some days i just lie around and hardly exist.

2008-11-12T15:03:00.009-05:00

today i cried on one of those little stationary bicycles in the gym. it just felt so silly to pedal with all my might and find myself going nowhere. i prayed that the people around me would think i was sweating from my eyeballs or something. afterall, i can count the number of times ive cried in front of people on one hand.

today i also hurt myself on one of those little stationary bikes in the gym too. it was nothing serious. just enough to make me feel clumsy. and just enough to make me miss my mother.

one time you were a glowing young ruffian.

2008-11-09T16:23:00.003-05:00

sometimes my mind runs in and out of things.

i think of the time a man from our church gave my family crates and crates of those little "uncrustable" sandwiches. they filled up our freezer and overflowed into the houses of all our neighbors. sometimes i could smell the frozen peanut butter and jelly all the way down the street. it stained my lunchbox and made my clothes smell and ruined that concept of packed lunches for me forever.

i dont know why these things pop into my head sometimes. today i found out red mike was shot and killed this morning. four times. his body is gone and i can picture him perfectly. he always laughed at me when he gave me my beer. he told me i was too shy and hed make me look him in the eyes until hed give me my change back.

i called my parents crying. they said he deserved it for selling alcohol to minors. i cried some more. i wish i was back in greensboro.

long nights, hard times.

2008-11-03T20:33:00.001-05:00

night of the living dead.

2008-11-02T01:48:00.003-04:00

trying really hard. i had the best night of my life exactly 365 days ago.

used to be.

2008-10-29T16:47:00.001-04:00

Beach House: Used to Be from shoottheplayer on Vimeo.

this is an improv video made for beach house's new single on 7". i wish i could find the finished version, but it seems to be pretty top secret.

regardless, i think this might be one of the best songs ive heard in a long time. if i could think of one song that sums up all my feelings about homesickness and missing people and wanting greensboro back, this would be it.

so listen to it and pretend im singing it to you!
(and then go buy me that vinyl!)

i ride my bike, i rollerskate, dont drive no car.

2008-10-27T22:02:00.003-04:00

i found this beautiful ten-speed at goodwill for 30 bucks! its got a pedal-generated light for extra safe riding and a nice rearview mirror. go team, go!

to-do list.

2008-10-26T20:59:00.007-04:00

dont forget to wake up tomorrow. and smile.

dont forget that you were born for this day. and even if god did forget you, he made you for some sort of reason. and maybe (just maybe) youll find that reason in the next 24 hours.

dont forget to surround yourself with intelligent people. after all, you are no better than the people you are with. so nuture them. love them until it hurts. and if you dont have anyone, then love yourself until you have nothing left at all.

dont forget that you might never be loved. but you can always love someone else. and even if it is the loneliest love, its better than being bitter. because you should never hate the things you cannot have.

dont forget that crying is the strongest thing you can do. that every tear is something deep and meaningful that has been hiding in you for years and years. and with every sob, you are releasing something magical into the atmosphere. you are creating the most beautiful kind of art by just being yourself.

dont forget to always remember. dont forget that your memory is all you have and everything you are. and have been. and will be. dont forget that you can never have what you had before. and that every "yesterday" will never come back again.

so dont forget to wake up in the morning. and smile. because today will soon be yesterday too.

another sunny day.

2008-10-26T15:26:00.003-04:00

today:

-amy came and visited me from chapel hill.
-i ate a mushroom sandwich
-i downloaded totoro
-i bought a fringed native american vest

!!!

crystal cats!

2008-10-23T18:40:00.004-04:00

today, rob and i were immortalized forever in pieces of crystal, thanks to the wonderous technology of lasers. LASERS.

the profile view
.

i think we look like the "house of cards" video for radiohead. the man in charge said they use lasers to find our skeletal composition. then they fill up the space with tiny bubbles of air. the machine looked like it was from the matrix. waves of the future!

love's a feeling you feel when you feel youre never going to feel the feeling again.

2008-10-23T13:57:00.006-04:00

well, ive been making a 'lil collabo with some ohio boys. if you click on the post's title, you can go to their website and listen to our work-in-progress. mr. gregory potter's in there too.

good form!

p.s. check out all of king tuts shit in general. to the max.

i will not pine.

2008-10-23T10:20:00.008-04:00

theres no magic anymore. theres no fiction.

the world is becoming a place of science and angles. the dirt was once alive, but now my words sound like history books. now my words are as stiff as starched shirts.

but what can you believe in a world without make-believe? and how can you change when seasons just repeat themselves? you just spread your roots into yourself. you hold yourself up from the inside, because everyone knows that gravity is against us. everyone knows this science will be the end.

that teenage feeling.

2008-10-22T15:35:00.007-04:00

today my dorm had a "fun festival". its sad that these things frustrate me so much, but i get very discouraged by the fact that this is what college has to offer me. i always thought becoming an adult was about making decisions, but instead, it seems to be about your ability to play 4-square, and eat candy apples, and watch Wii for hours on a giant projector.

i cant do these things. and i know it. i keep walking up to groups and standing awkwardly. sometimes i say something and they stare at me. i feel naked and silly. and more importantly, i am aware that this is not the real world. none of these things will help me grow up at all.

i just dont know if going back home is giving in. and i dont know if trying to make this place work is just as bad. i just want to live somewhere where my roommate doesnt talk shit about me when she catches me crying in my bed. i want to live where other people make things and try to hold onto moments. i want to live where people know my name and give me hugs and ask me how my day is going.

i had that place once. but what if i never find it again?

And we both sing a love for a womanly cloud.

2008-10-17T23:25:00.009-04:00

struggling to get to the place we were born. my hands are cold and my shirt is torn.

what are we doing here?

2008-10-16T14:28:00.006-04:00

ive got to get home, somehow. with feet as aimless as the wind.

i dream a highway.

2008-10-15T03:59:00.008-04:00

who were you in love with back then?

you kept trying to tell me when we left our homes behind. but my mind was on the road. the curves. the arches of your shoulders. the way the corners turned.

older than ever. we were told to live in a city where no one knows how to die. we were blown out like smoke from our hometowns. wafting down the highways. sticking to the asphalt. and the rumble strips shook us like bad dreams.

but there is no way to wake up when you never sleep. and we walk the thinnest line. dotted down the center of 1-40 west. we left a trail for no one to follow. and your voice quivered like the strings of a violin.

you were saying the saddest song i've ever heard. and all i could do was listen. so sad to see the road staying still as we sped out of sight.

remember what you've always meant to be.

2008-10-14T20:41:00.005-04:00

and i was ageless.

in the city where i was born. i drove to get lost as i listened to the CD kelsey once made me. i smoked a pack of cigarettes at the park where joel once taught me guitar. i found the spot where mia and i used to skip class and break glass bottles on vandalized walls. i sat in the field where weaver '08 graduated and ate pizza together. i wandered down the halls of my middle school. i told my 8th grade teacher i couldnt live in asheville anymore. she nodded in sympathy.

and then i stumbled through the parking lot of my high school. i stood where my best friend and i used to park our cars and wait for nothing. at night and at day. sometimes we would lay our heads on eachothers shoulders. sometimes we would scream and cry and hang onto to one another like little leeches.

i know these are insignifigant sentences. i know they are fragments concerning only myself. but these are the words that have made me into who i am today. every little letter kept in secret parts of my body that i can never find.

but sometimes. when im home again. when im smiling bright, and the earth is young again, and my lungs are clean, and the air is full of possibilities...sometimes they find me. and all i can do is remember. the most beautiful ache. impossible for words.

please call to say you miss me...

2008-10-04T14:15:00.004-04:00

i am becoming something terrible and foreign. looking in the mirror is like seeing some sort of unpronounceable city on a map. i know it is there, but its smells and temperatures and dirt are so unfamiliar to me.

sometimes i look at my eyes and see ice cold oceans. they are rough and deeper than i remember. i wonder if anyone else gets lost in them besides me. i wonder if anyones ever stared at them and been in love.

jump into my mouth.

2008-10-03T20:19:00.003-04:00

antichrist television blues.

2008-10-03T03:46:00.003-04:00

i thought this wouldn't hurt a lot.

2008-09-29T17:58:00.002-04:00

Let's go on pretending that the light is neverending.

2008-09-27T15:45:00.004-04:00

with hands as empty as my bed.

2008-09-27T10:32:00.004-04:00

i have felt your mornings.

2008-09-23T10:11:00.003-04:00

things i used to hate, but now i like:

my 8 AM math class
seaweed
funk music
boys (kind of)
rolling cigarettes

things i used to like, but now i hate:

the beatles, bob dylan, pink floyd (any hippie music)
my roommate
the cafeteria
creative writing
myspace

autumnal equinox.

2008-09-22T11:58:00.000-04:00

sister, its the opposite of hallelujah.

2008-09-21T19:07:00.000-04:00

please hibernate with me again.

2008-09-16T10:41:00.002-04:00

the winter never left.

(it kept me)
shaking in my clothes
while i waited for you
to melt for me.

the engine
rattling in exhaust
as i drove from your house
and cried...

because i knew the spring
could never come again.

that teenage feeling.

2008-09-15T15:05:00.008-04:00

there were sunlit moments. times when i would feel warm, just standing next to you.

we were on the train tracks. we were in my bed. i could have been 17 or 18, but it was always the same: sometimes i thought our heartbeats would make a soundtrack. i wanted pedestrians to hear our bodies working together. to throw down their grocery bags and briefcases and join into a choreographed dance. just like the movies. its silly really, but you always made me feel that way.

sometimes, i felt like we were the axis of the earth; that everything revolved around our magic. that the seasons waited for us to turn before making their first move. oceans bit into the dirt for us. the sun came up just to see our faces. and we were in love with a love that knew nothing. or maybe it was just me.

but now there is not much heat here. you see, i live in the mountains, very far away from where i grew up. i eat alone and i sleep alone and sometimes i pull all the covers over myself...just trying to get back that warmth. just trying to wait for the sun to come up again.

but you are not here. and the soundtrack is over. and every pedestrian i see is not wearing dancing shoes. and it makes me wonder if i will ever have that teenage feeling again.

out the window with the window.

2008-09-13T12:52:00.004-04:00

constants are changing.

2008-09-10T15:24:00.003-04:00

i think im trying to post a picture every day. i dont really know why. but maybe im just trying to prove to myself that i live here. and these people are my friends now.

its not settling. its moving on....
right?

i dont know how to explain it.

2008-09-09T21:02:00.002-04:00

dragging each day like a cigarette.
just trying to get that feeling
again.

i will do these things.

2008-09-07T21:18:00.003-04:00

the sun came up late.

2008-09-06T12:14:00.005-04:00

they say home is where your heart is. but what do you do when your heart is everywhere?

my impure hair.

2008-09-05T00:49:00.003-04:00

months and months

2008-09-03T00:42:00.003-04:00

but i couldn't say what i meant. because talking to you felt like carrying someone elses baby. and i could feel the blood and kicks and breaths of something strange inside of me. and it hurt and it cried. and i knew that the only way i could be free was to lose a part of myself. i would have to give away my insides to someone i never even really knew. and worst of all, i would have to give birth to something i never even wanted in the first place.

grape on the vine, grape on the vine.

2008-09-01T23:22:00.005-04:00

the mountains said i could find you here.

2008-08-31T22:00:00.006-04:00

our only supplies

elk! elk! elk!

my sister and i planned the greatest camping trip ever. we got pulled by a cop for no reason. we got lost in the wilderness. our car almost died. we went home before 9:30.

and it was the best trip ever!